Hazy Reality

It's Alive

2009-01-06T07:29:00.000-08:00

After a long hiatus, I finally came plunging on this keyboard with lots of things running around my mind. Had tons of work the last half of the year, In other words-busy. Hey that's no excuse for a blogger! Yep its not. But truly I was.

The tale starts with me now being the father of an adorable fourteen month old son, and a husband of a very caring wife. Life turns around a 180 degrees when the void in life is filled. You get inspired, assertive, and at times nervous. I'm also struggling to bring back to life the magazine I started, Graphikapinoymag, but it's really a lot of work to handle all alone. Naah, the commitments will always be the same. But I'm still setting my eyes publishing stuff that would benefit even the most common person. I've got a few ideas in the bag. And if any one's interested to do the funding we could sit and talk.

Enough biz talk and let's see what's in stored this 2009 at Hazy Reality.
I'd be discussing personal growth, philosophers, art and design, and probably a few software tutorials. So let's welcome the year of the Ox with open arms and start the year with a positive attitude.

I'd be leaving you with a vid of my son Gabriel riding a mechanical car, or whatever you might want to call it. Me and Claire (my wife) were so proud of him. He was just 10 months old when this was shot.

'Til then and who knows? I might throw in podcasts once in awhile. Ciao.

First Ride - Click here for more amazing videos

PECHA KUCHA NIGHT IN MANILA!

2008-06-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

Pecha Kucha Night is coming to Manila! Hosted by Idea!s Creatives, Inc., a social enterprise design team for non-profit organizations. PKN Manila shall showcase different ideas from designers, graphic artists, writers, and other individuals with interesting images to share, in a series of four events this year. (Visit http://www.pecha-kucha.org/manila )

Pecha Kucha, pronounced (peh-chak-cha) and meaning ‘the sound of conversation’ in Japanese, works in a 20x20 format. You take a group of speakers and give each of them 6 minutes and 40 seconds to present their topic in 20 slides – that means 20 seconds to discuss each slide! (Studies have shown that a person’s average attention span is 7 minutes, and the 20x20 format makes sure not only that each presenter is able to say everything they want but also that the audience is able to absorb everything they need.) Topics can be anything from one’s collection of insects and action figures to paintings of your 4-year-old daughter to the blueprint for an underwater structure. Anything from about anyone goes, as long as you present it all in 6 minutes and 40 seconds.

The PKN format keeps the audience level up because it avoids the flooding of ideas or the speaker’s monopoly of the microphone, which often results in dry discussions.

Pioneered by Astrid Klein and Mark Dytham of Klein Dytham Architecture (KDa) in Tokyo 2003, PKN has become a global phenomenon, reaching over 120 locations, including Berlin, New York, Tel Aviv, and Beijing. And now it is finally here!

The first Pecha Kucha Night in Manila will be held on 13 June, from 8:20 to 11:00 pm, at the Mag:Net Café Fort Bonifacio High Street. Presenters for this night include painter and production designer Leo Abaya, sculptor Leeroy New, graphic design duo Inksurge, graffiti artists from Pilipinas Street Plan, BBDO-GO Head of Art Joni Caparas, filmmaker Raymond Red, commercial and travel photographer Nicky Sering, contemporary dancer Donna Miranda, student and cosplayer Jin Joson, and Cebu-based design team Grafik Salad, among many other interesting speakers. (Visit http://www.pechakuchamanila.com for the complete line-up.)

Tickets for the first event are priced at P150.00 each, with a student discount price of P120.00, inclusive of entrance, one beer, and pika-pika. Limited seats only!

For inquiries and other concerns, send an e-mail to PKNManila@gmail.com, or call (+632)4368864. For matters regarding partnership, call or send an SMS to +639209470868; for presenters, +639178567753.

Graphikapinoymag is now available!

2008-04-29T01:33:00.000-07:00

I've recently published Graphikapinoymag. A free downloadable graphic design magazine in support of the Filipino creative. On this first issue, we featured Inksurge, Dan Matutina, and Camille del Rosario. It was a tedious job, but worth the cause. Expect the next issue to be as wicked as the first! Issues are published every second week of the month. So see you there!

1st Annual FindYourArtSchool.com Competition

2008-04-02T17:51:00.000-07:00

The 1st Annual FindYourArtSchool.com Young Adult Art Competition is
geared towards helping current and prospective art students gain
market exposure through the competition, as well as rewarding their
outstanding talents with financial support. There is no constraint
regarding topic or media. Artists are given the full stage to show off
their talent and we are anticipating that thousands of visitors will
be coming daily to see their works.
Everyone is welcomed to submit art works, only those age 16-35 are
eligible to win prizes. Even some artists might be outside of the age
range, it still worth the 2 min to submit the artworks since it is an
excellent platform for them to show off their talents! (Watermark the
artwork with contact information could be a good practice, but
absolutely not required.) Artists are welcomed to submit multiple art
works to enhance your chance of wining. They can also invite your
friends to help vote for them. It is not cheating, since everybody
needs the initial push to get the artwork out in front of the
audiences. And in order to win, a piece of art work will need much
more votes than "friends" can offer. It is statically impossible to
"cheat" =D

1st Place $2500, 2nd Place $600, and 3rd place $400.

For more detailed information please refer to the art contest site
http://www.findyourartschool.com/contest/home

Learning Advanced Adobe Photoshop CS2 Online for FREE

2008-03-04T00:54:00.000-08:00

In this advanced class in Adobe Photoshop CS2, you'll learn to create complex images and learn some special techniques in the areas of image creation, editing, selection and correction. You'll also explore layer masks in depth then you'll apply your wide range of skills and knowledge of Photoshop to create composite images ranging from the simple to complex.

Finally a FREE online course for Adobe Photoshop CS2. Offered by HP Lear ning Center, it's really exciting to learn advanced things from them. Though CS3 is already available for sometime, it's always great to stumble upon a few tips and tricks from the masters. Instructed by Joanne Watkins, who has more than 15 years of experience as a training specialist and professional graphic designer. She has expertise in the major image editing, illustration, electronic prepress, and web software. Joanne is a training specialist for a major Fortune 500 company, where she develops e-learning courses and teaches classes in computer software and presentation skills. In addition, she is an associate professor in the multimedia department of Richland Community College in Dallas, Texas, where she teaches an online Introduction to Multimedia course. She previously worked for a major software company as a technical support engineer, writer, editor, and web producer. When she's not teaching or designing, Joanne maintains her own website and volunteers in a computer assistance program for senior adults.

Here's what you'd learn:

Learn new techniques for image editing
Explore color corrections
Learn about layer masks
Learn to create simple and complex images

Learning is a continous process, and this is something a designer should bear in mind. Kudos to HP Learning Center for coming up with such courses.

What are you waiting for? Enroll now!

Future plans

2008-01-25T00:37:00.000-08:00

I happen to stumble upon an inspiring speech by John L. Gokongwei, Jr., a Filipino business tycoon, which I would like to share to you guys.

**************************************************
Commencement Address
Ateneo de Manila University
March 27, 2004
John L. Gokongwei, Jr.

I wish I were one of you today, instead of a 77-year-old man, giving
a speech you will probably forget when you wake up from your hangover
tomorrow.

You may be surprised I feel this way. Many of you are feeling fearful
and apprehensive about your future.

You are thinking that, perhaps, your Ateneo diploma will not mean a
whole lot in the future in a country with too many problems. And you
are probably right.

You are thinking that our country is slipping, no - sliding. Again,
you may be right.

Twenty years ago, we were at par with countries like Thailand,
Malaysia, and Singapore. Today, we are left way behind.

You know the facts.

Twenty years ago, the per capita income of the Filipino was 1,000 US
dollars. Today, it's 1,100 dollars. That's a growth of only ten
percent in twenty years. Meanwhile, Thailand's per capita income
today is double ours; Malaysia, triple ours; and Singapore, almost
twenty times ours.

With globalization coming, you know it is even more urgent to wake
up. Trade barriers are falling, which means we will have to compete
harder.

In the new world, entrepreneurs will be forced to invest their money
where it is most efficient. And that is not necessarily in the
Philippines. Even for Filipino entrepreneurs, that can be the case.

For example, a Filipino brand like Maxx candy can be manufactured in
Bangkok - where labor, taxes, power and financing are cheaper and
more efficient - and then exported to other ASEAN countries.

This will be a common scenario - if things do not change.

Pretty soon, we will become a nation that buys everything and
produces practically nothing. We will be like the prodigal son who
took his father's money and spent it all. The difference is that we
do not have a generous father to run back to.

But despite this, I am still very excited about the future. I will
tell you why later.

You have been taught at the Ateneo to be "a person for others." Of
course, that is noble: To serve your countrymen.

Question is: How?

And my answer is: Be an entrepreneur!

You may think I am just a foolish man talking mundane stuff when the
question before him is almost philosophical. But I am being very
thoughtful here, and if I may presume this about myself, being
patriotic as well.

Entrepreneurship is the answer.

We need young people who will find the idea, grab the opportunity,
take risk, and set aside comfort to set up businesses that will
provide jobs.

But why? What are jobs?

Jobs are what allow people to feel useful and build their self-
esteem. Jobs make people productive members of the community. Jobs
make people feel they are worthy citizens. And jobs make a country
worthy players in the world market.

In that order of things, it is the entrepreneurs who have the power
to harness the creativity and talents of others to achieve a common
good. This should leave the world a better place than it was.

Let me make it clear: Job creation is a priority for any nation to
move forward.

For example, it is the young entrepreneurs of Malaysia, Thailand, and
Singapore who created the dynamic businesses that have propelled
their countries to the top. Young people like yourselves.

Meanwhile, in the Philippines, progress is slow. Very little is
new. Hardly anything is fresh. With a few exceptions, the biggest
companies before the war - like PLDT, Ayala, and San Miguel - are
still the biggest companies today.

All right, being from the Ateneo, many of you probably have offers
from these corporations already. You may even have offers from JG
Summit.

I say: Great! Take these offers, work as hard as you can, learn
everything these companies can teach - and then leave!

If you dream of creating something great, do not let a 9-to-5 job -
even a high-paying one - lull you into a complacent, comfortable
life. Let that high-paying job propel you toward entrepreneurship
instead.

When I speak of the hardship ahead, I do not mean to be skeptical but
realistic.

Even you Ateneans, who are famous for your eloquence, you cannot talk
your way out of this one. There is nothing to do but to deal with it.

I learned this lesson when, as a 13-year-old, I lost my dad.

Before that, I was like many of you: a privileged kid. I went to
Cebu's best school; lived in a big house; and got free entrance to
the Vision, the largest movie house in Cebu, which my father owned.

Then my dad died, and I lost all these. My family had become poor -
poor enough to split my family. My mother and five siblings moved to
China where the cost of living was lower. I was placed under the care
of my Grand Uncle Manuel Gotianuy, who put me through school. But
just two years later, the war broke out, and even my Uncle Manuel
could no longer see me through.

I was out in the streets - literally.

Looking back, this time was one of the best times of my life. We
lost everything, true, but so did everybody! War was the great
equalizer. In that setting, anyone who was willing to size up the
situation, use his wits, and work hard, could make it!

It was every man for himself, and I had to find a way to support
myself and my family. I decided to be a market vendor. Why? Because
it was something that I, a 15-year old boy in short pants, could do.

I started by selling simple products in the palengke half an hour by
bike from the city. I had a bicycle. I would wake up at five in the
morning, load thread, soap and candles into my bike, and rush to the
palengke.

I would rent a stall for one peso a day, lay out my goods on a table
as big as this podium, and begin selling. I did that the whole day.

I sold about twenty pesos of goods every day. Today, twenty pesos
will only allow you to send twenty text messages to your crush, but
63 years ago, it was enough to support my family. And it left me
enough to plow back into my small, but growing, business.

I was the youngest vendor in the palengke, but that didn't faze me.
In fact, I rather saw it as an opportunity. Remember, that was 63
years and 100 pounds ago, so I could move faster, stay under the sun
more, and keep selling longer than everyone else.

Then, when I had enough money and more confidence, I decided to
travel to Manila from Cebu to sell all kinds of goods like rubber
tires.

Instead of my bike, I now traveled on a batel - a boat so small that
on windless days, we would just float there. On bad days, the trip
could take two weeks!

During one trip, our batel sank! We would have all perished in the
sea were it not for my inventory of tires. The viajeros were happy
because my tires saved their lives, and I was happy because the
viajeros, by hanging on to them, saved my tires. On these long and
lonely trips I had to entertain myself with books, like Gone With The
Wind.

After the war, I had saved up 50,000 pesos. That was when you could
buy a chicken for 20 centavos and a car for 2,000 pesos. I was 19
years old.

Now I had enough money to bring my family home from China. Once they
were all here, they helped me expand our trading business to include
imports. Remember that the war had left the Philippines with very few
goods. So we imported whatever was needed and imported them from
everywhere - including used clothes and textile remnants from the
United States. We were probably the first ukay-ukay dealers here.

Then, when I had gained more experience and built my reputation, I
borrowed money from the bank and got into manufacturing. I saw that
coffee was abundant, and Nescafe of Nestle was too expensive for a
country still rebuilding from the war, so my company created Blend 45.

That was our first branded hit. And from there, we had enough profits
to launch Jack and Jill.

From one market stall, we are now in nine core businesses - including
retail, real estate, publishing, petrochemicals, textiles, banking,
food manufacturing, Cebu Pacific Air and Sun Cellular.

When we had shown success in the smaller businesses, we were able to
raise money in the capital markets-through IPOs and bond offerings --
and then get into more complex, capital- intensive enterprises. We
did it slow, but sure.

Success doesn't happen overnight. It's the small successes achieved
day by day that build a company. So, don't be impatient or focused
on immediate financial rewards. I only started flying business class
when I got too fat to fit in the economy seats.

And I even wore a used overcoat while courting my wife - it came from
my ukay-ukay business. Thank God Elizabeth didn't mind the mothball
smell of my overcoat or maybe she wouldn't have married me.

Save what you earn and plow it back.

And never forget your families! Your parents denied themselves many
things to send you here. They could have traveled around the world a
couple of times with the money they set aside for your education, and
your social life, and your comforts.

Remember them - and thank them.

When you have families of your own, you must be home with them for at
least one meal everyday.

I did that while I was building my company. Now, with all my six
children married, I ask that we spend every Sunday lunch together,
when everything under the sun is discussed.

As it is with business, so it is with family. There are no short cuts
for building either one.

Remember, no short cuts.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola, your patron saint, and founder of this 450-
year old organization I admire, described an ideal Jesuit as one
who "lives with one foot raised." I believe that means someone who is
always ready to respond to opportunities.

Saint Ignatius knew that, to build a successful organization, he
needed to recruit and educate men who were not afraid of change but
were in fact excited by it.

In fact, the Jesuits were one of the earliest practitioners of
globalization. As early as the 16th century, upon reaching a foreign
country, they compiled dictionaries in local languages like Tamil and
Vietnamese so that they could spread their message in the local
language. In a few centuries, they have been able to spread their
mission in many countries through education.

The Jesuits have another quote. "Make the whole world your house,"
which means that the ideal Jesuit must be at home everywhere.

By adapting to change, but at the same time staying true to their
beliefs, the Society of Jesus has become the long-lasting and
successful organization it is today and has made the world their
house.

So, let live with one foot raised in facing the next big opportunity:
globalization.

Globalization can be your greatest enemy. It will be your downfall if
you are too afraid and too weak to fight it out. But it can also be
your biggest ally.

With the Asian Free Trade agreement and tariffs near zero, your
market has grown from 80 million Filipinos to half a billion
Southeast Asians.

Imagine what that means to you as an entrepreneur if you are able to
find a need and fill it. And imagine, too, what that will do for the
economy of our country!

Yes, our government may not be perfect, and our economic environment
not ideal, but true entrepreneurs will find opportunities anywhere.

Look at the young Filipino entrepreneurs who made it. When I say
young - and I'm 77, remember - I am talking about those in their 50s
and below. Tony Tan of Jollibee, Ben Chan of Bench, Rolando Hortaleza
of Splash, and Wilson Lim of Abensons.

They're the guys who weren't content with the 9-to-5 job, who were
willing to delay their gratification and comfort, and who created
something new, something fresh.

Something Filipinos are now very proud of.

They all started small but now sell their hamburgers, T-shirts and
cosmetics in Asia, America, and the Middle East.

In doing so, these young Filipino entrepreneurs created jobs while
doing something they were passionate about.

Globalization is an opportunity of a lifetime - for you. And that is
why I want to be out there with you instead of here behind this
podium - perhaps too old and too slow to seize the opportunities you
can.

Let me leave you with one last thought.

Trade barriers have fallen. The only barriers left are the barriers
you have in your mind.

So, Ateneans, Class of 2004, heed the call of entrepreneurship.

With a little bit of will and a little bit of imagination, you can
turn this crisis into your patriotic moment - and truly become a
person for others.

"Live with one foot raised and make the world your house."

To this great University, my sincerest thanks for this singular honor
conferred on me today.

To the graduates, congratulations and Godspeed.

"Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam".

Thank you.

© 2005 John Gokongwei School of Management

**************************************************
Wow! Isn't that something? :D

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

2008-01-07T01:07:00.000-08:00

I just purchased a book entitled Rich Dad, Poor Dad at the turn of the year. A must have book for everyone who wishes to start the year right. The book is more than its worth by giving inspiration and knowledge to its readers. My hats off to Robert T. Kiyosaki, a Japanese-American salesman, for shedding the light and making me excited to get off the rat race. Giving great tips on how to handle your cashflow and managing one's risks. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But, hey, it's worth a try. "Remember the Alamo?"

President Arroyo holds my work

2007-12-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

I've been tasked to do a booklet to be presented to Malacañang a week ago for the National Innovation Summit and was proud that President Gloria Arroyo held my work in front of the press. Though I'm not a big fan of her, it just felt like a sort of achievement that a president holds my work.Kudos! Hahaha.

Here is the actual artwork...

Hmmm...I think the color is too biased in blue. Oh well...

Nirvana

2007-09-25T00:16:00.000-07:00

Isn't it great just to relax and forget about everything that bothers you? We need it once in awhile just to keep life's balance. I sketched this hoping to do it one day.

Friends

2007-09-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

Whew! It's been a month of hectic personal things to attend to so it's been quite awhile since my last post. I've got three new officemates who are personally great and happy people. The kind that's great to hang out with. Work has been never this exciting since my former colleagues resigned. But I'm starting to adjust to my new officemates. A group of young, jolly and energetic guys who are often optimistic with work. We often have our cigarette break and talk about anything to lighten the mood. I love it! On the other hand, I also miss my former officemates who were there to listen to my heartaches. They will forever stay in my heart my kapatid (sisters/brothers) as I call them. Melancholy serves its sweet turnaround when friends are there to give a hand.

Noooookia!

2007-08-16T18:48:00.001-07:00

On my recent blog regarding the recall of mattel products in the market, Nokia too began to recall dangerous cellphone batteries (BL-5C series) for some of their models. One of the stories is about a housewife charging her new expensive cellphone when it suddenly exploded. Quickly she took pictures and documented what happened then sent it to Nokia.
Overcharging of battery is not new to Nokia products as we consumers know. It may cause short circuit for some phones. When you overcharge a Nokia cellphone and got it damaged along the process, sure as hell your friendly neighborhood store won't replace the product (this is common in the Philippines). My hunch is that, Nokia knew it all along but didn't mind it until a case might be filed to them. Swell! Their sales could surely feed a starving third world and they can't even perform their obligations for their consumers' safety. C'mon guys admit it.

mattel's kiss of death

2007-08-02T16:26:00.000-07:00

Is playing with Elmo from Sesame Street safe?
In my recent blog regarding a Greener Apple, never would have it crossed my mind that even an established and trusted company such as mattel would also be a hazard to our child's health. But in fairness to mattel, they quickly made recalls from some of their hazardous products made by their contractors from China(complete list of recalled products). The toys containing-approved paint pigment with lead has long been banned in the market for a long time and to such surprise went under the eyes of the company. Recalling their products may be a kiss-of-death to mattel, however we should also praise their dedication to their costumers. On the other hand, I still feel that mattel should do more than just recalling their products, better yet replace the ones they sold with a safer product, if your child is still willing to part ways with the original toy. For the full text from mattel click here.

Heads will roll (literally)

2007-07-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

After the tedious unsuccessful efforts of the marines in finding kidnapped Italian priest Giancarlo Bossi, the rain began to pour, and so did bullets between the marines and presumably the AbuSayyaf. Read the full story here, msnbc story
14 soldiers were killed amongst them 10 were beheaded. It just breaks my heart realising that people could be so cruel to beheaded another human being. Can't find any reason for any person to stomach and engage to such heinous act. Is it religious?Cultural? Whatever the reasons are, it's definitely a slap on the face not only for the Philippine government but to the whole nation as well. Whoever funds and supports this group should think twice and trace back the roots on what they are fighting for. There's just no excuse in being so barbaric and inhumane.
My condolences to those who lost their loved ones in this incident. Free Fr. Giancarlo Bossi!Now!

Am I out of my mind?

2007-07-09T23:39:00.000-07:00

A few recent blogs I made makes me ask the question " am I out of my mind?" Recent blogs I made were products of me being tired, angry, or in a different frame of mind from what I usually am. I'm not retracting any words from it, more so, it made me learn a few more things about myself. Something I could look back at and claim to learn something from it. With each passing day we sometimes forget to reflect on what lessons we gained in life that could help us be a better person...

Ok enough with the guru crap! See you.

Questions as of this moment

2007-07-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

I scanned my recent blogs and noticed that I was tired when I made those posts. There's still no difference up to now having this new job. Would money compensate the deterioration of my health? Of my social life? Of my relationship with my family? Little by little it feels like hell just heading to the office. And I know this is one of the few signs that I may need to find a new job. Distressed that even my blogs are getting shorter and shorter.
Give my life back, Corporate pricks!

Got my design uploaded at Greenpeace

2007-06-16T07:05:00.001-07:00

After partially being successful with the greener mac campaign by Greenpeace, I found my work included as one of the best designs sent on their updated site. Check it out.
In case you've got no idea on what I'm talking about[go>>>>.
Wow, modesty aside, I'm really proud.

Soooo tired

2007-06-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

I've spent 12-14 hours of my life this past few weeks at the office due to various events. My mind feels like a boxer beaten up by Mike Tyson at the end of each day. Whew! Occasions such as this frequently happens especially to professions such as mine( I'm a graphic designer BTW). But after seeing everything that I've done and achieved ( my banners are scattered along the business district of the country, and my logo splashed in every collateral imaginable) it's worth it. It makes me more thankful for choosing this profession where I can play and work at the same time. Aside from sex, this is one of those moments where you feel tired but satisfied at the same time. It's life and am thankful for it. So should most of us. But most of all lets not forget our faith that gives us the right direction in every decisions that we make.

Can't take it much longer

2007-05-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

Are you above the law?

On my recent blog about Tony Leviste being imprisoned for killing a long time friend was recently released. Click here to read the full story. He was welcomed with cheers and yellow ribbons tied to the doors of the LPL building where he went after being dischanged. Leviste claimed that politics was behind the murder charged against him. Whatever the case may be, he's free and can return to his usual things in life. Alas! All the money can buy in a third world country such as ours. But it's nothing new to Filipinos. We're so used to it doesn't matter anymore if it's right or wrong. We need to enforce our justice system and be vigilant citizens! I'm posting a shoutout from this blog as a sign of appeal to all to be better citizens of this tormented country.

Tongue-tied

2007-05-23T16:44:00.000-07:00

Aside from adjusting with my new job and the election fever is slowly turning cold, I've got not much to say. However, a lot of things is going through my life personally which I won't write about yet ( I fear I might jinx it), though I assure I'd write about it in a few more months.

**************

I'm sure it's not only me who adjusts, but my colleagues as well. I noticed they perceive me as a serious type of person that doesn't enjoy life. LOL. I don't care. In fact I enjoy it. It's like a mask that gives me a different perception towards myself and others. Maybe they think of me ala-Cho Seung-Hui. LOL. The only bullets that may hit them sometime is probably my sharp words!

**************

Before I park my pen (mouse or whatever,) I'd like to thank you guys for adding me to your links and reading this blog of sorts. Wish more power to, Danielle! Bless us all.

Gotta leave

2007-05-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not being able to post the past week. A week ago, I decided to leave my previous employer, and boy, was it so hard parting ways with established friends whom I treated as my second family. I miss those cigarette breaks and slumbering during break time. My friends were always there through thick and thin. And I can't thank them enough, especially my boss and his wife. Thinking of those fond memories and not seeing them anymore felt like I broke up from a relationship. The only thing that makes me happy is I certainly know that I got friends. Money has its own price to pay indeed. Thank you QDP, Apple, Marathon. Good luck to all of us. Adios!

Countdown to extinction

2007-05-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

"One hour from now
Another species of life form
Will disappear off the face of the planet forever
And the rate is accelerating"

This has nothing to do with Dave Mustaine's song. Sorry if the title mislead you in any way. I'd be leaving my job soon and as of this moment am turning over my tasks to my peers. Leaving this job seems harder than I expected. After years in my job, I already established good relationship with my boss, more so, my fellow employees. But I need to move on with my career and grow further on. Writing the resignation letter wasn't half as hard as staring at your friends eyes and thinking if ever you'd see them again. All those questions they ask me blatantly makes my heart heavier and heavier. I could never forget these supportive fellows. All of them would always be a part of my life and have a space in my heart. Good luck to us all!

*******************

Steve Jobs finally gave way to our green my apple campaign and directed new policies to adhere to our "requests." This only goes to show that Steve Jobs and the Apple team are truly reading their mail and lending their ears. Cheers to Greenpeace. Cheers to China and India!

Greener Apple

2007-04-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

Conceptualized a poster for greenpeace for their greener Apple campaign. A little help matters.

Concept 1:

Concept 2:

Download the zip file here.
For more details click me. :)

Bang bang, Baby!

2007-04-18T16:52:00.000-07:00

A tragedy shocked and brought grief to the hearts of the world as Cho Seung-Hui, 23, a South Korean student of Virginia Tech, open fired at the Norris Hall, ending 33 lives including his own. Before the tragedy, few students even joked around that one day this guy may come to school packed with guns and shoot them one after the other. It turned out to be not a laughing matter anymore as the incident occured. Her teacher even stated that Cho Seung-Hui's writings and plays[Richard McBeef, Mr. Brownstone] were violent in nature. If she noticed that, did she in anyway seek guidance for this student? According to those who survived, all they remember was the bursts of fire aimed at them. Upon the magazine emptying, he just reached to his pocket and fired again.

We should condemn such and fight such incidents! The school should be a place of peace and learning. It should be the second home for these kids yearning to learn and achieve a better future thru education. My condolences to the bereaved family and friends of the victims of this sad tragedy.

Seasonal smiles

2007-04-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

Philippine FG Mike Arroyo recently underwent a heart surgery and is currently recovering. Dialysis will be performed in the future.

Campaign season really brings out the best and the worst to most of us. PGMA even gave a hearty smile even while his husband was admitted to the hospital to what once was thought as a gastrointestinal problem turned out to be complications of the heart. How could you smile when someone close to your heart is at the ER? What's surprising is that after all the allegations of the oppositionists, they even had the nerve to show up at the hospital. For what? Maybe to strangle the guy while he can't defent himself. Hahaha(just kidding!).

So let's all try to give the best smiles on empty stomachs and thin wallets. Adios!

Children in a bus hostaged

2007-03-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Will idealism kill?

Armando "Jun" Ducat Jr., owner of a day-care center and entrepeneur, hostaged 26 kids and 4 tutors in a bus during a field trip ^{[read the full story]}. A magical mystery tour as he packed his UZI, a 45- caliber pistol, and a grenade. What's ironic was that the hostages didn't seem to fear Armando. His neighbors supported his cause and even held a short protest rally. What's the demand?

"Ducat had demanded support for the education of at least 145 school children of the Musmos Daycare and improved housing for them and their families."

A pathetic cause for a hostage undertaking. However, in a third world country such as the Philippines, attaining a "higher education" is a privilege. Some might percieve Armando's actions to be worthy. But come to think of it, most Filipinos, graduates or undergraduates alike, resort working abroad due to low employment options, but that's another story. He requested Senator Ramon "Bong" Revilla (in the hero costume in the picture), whom he has close ties with to listen to him and act as the negotiator. Hmmm. Just like a movie.
After 10 hours or drama. It was finally over. Ducat was apprehended and possibly be sentenced for life imprisonment.

Armando's Famous last words:
"...if they were educated they would have discipline and would not become drug addicts.”
“I am appealing to you to give me a chance to speak. You are witnesses to the political dynasties, the rampant stealing in government. Because of this, our dream of progress for the country will not be realized,”
“Aren’t we ashamed of ourselves? We are a country who believes in God and yet we are ungodly in our actions,”
“President Arroyo is fighting corruption, we should unite with her!”

I need not expound on similar things Armando did in the past. What I'd like to point out is this: education is truly a primary problem in this country and let's find better ways to address this issue.

I have an idea! Why not ask Oprah Winfrey for help? She seems to be generous enough to the needy? Why not a public library on a third world country such as ours? Where knowledge would just be a step away? Will this summoning reach her or fall on deaf ears? What do you think?

I sorrow...

Ma Mon Luk this time

2007-03-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

METRO MANILA, PHILIPPINES- I had a chance to eat again at one of my fave restos in the city, Ma Mon Luk Restaurant. Their remaining brach is at Banawe, Quezon Avenue. And I can't help but reminisce on my childhood.

Before the boom of the fastfood industry, our family used to dine frequently at Ma Mon Luk Restaurant after shopping at Cubao (which was the in place during the 80's) . I could still see myself sitting on the high chair anticipating for my siopao and enjoying the aroma of the place. While the waiters and bus boys swiftly pass by the aisles to accomodate more diners. How large are the glasses I thought they were but its the other way around. I got small hands that's what it is. When I came back there during my teens, they are still the same people who served me when I was younger. Probably the owner has a good heart for his people to stick with him.

Countless times have Ma Mon Luk been featured by the media. In their walls you'd find ancient articles about the restaurant. Their noodles and dumplings have the same ol' taste as when I was a kid. At the other side of the table I saw a family which reminded me of the times when we dined in Ma Mon Luk together. Man how quickly do they eat! I savored each sip I took from the soup. Each bite of the siopao is so tasty. Moneys worth in this place. Hey don't I deserve a free meal for this blog?

Women. How many ways I love thee...

2007-03-07T16:30:00.000-08:00

It's now International Womens Day and what's better way to celebrate than throwing few tidbits.

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As of this writing, TV-host Kris Aquino, is in the hospital due to reasons I don't care about. Happily married to James Yap(professional basketball player) they flooded the boob-tube with countless endorsements, the streets with humongous billboards among a few. The irony is with the TV ad wherein she proudly claims, she's got nothing to ask for in her life. After a few days, at her televised birthday celebration, she gives her husband a cold shoulder. Rumors of infidelity by her husband. And so we witness the new form of sarswela.

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On August 31, 1920, Marie Ruoff Byrum was the first woman to cast a vote in Missouri.

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Newsbreak online editor Gemma Bagauaya was arrested after a subpoena was filed against her and five other colleagues. A 10 million libel suit filedby senatorial candidate, Luis "Chavit" Singson, due to her article The power of Singson outside Vigan. Bail is set at ten thousand pesos, or $200 but the warden was not around so she had no choice but to spend the night in jail. What's funny about that? Well, a Nokia phone was used to take her mugshots! WTF. Beat that.

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Finally, I call to a stop to any violence especially to women. Or more Lorena Bobbit-likes will arise. Viva Gabriela!

Please mister spare us some change

2007-02-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

Beggars are a common scene the metro. But as I was strolling amidst the hustle and bustle at the City Hall in Manila, two dogs caught my attention. Mongrels as they are, but they pretty well know how to serve their master. According to few some, they are pets of an old man who has no capacity to feed them no longer. An outreach reality TV show even featured these dogs and the old man.

Is it cruelty to animals?

The true measure of beauty

2007-02-18T20:11:00.000-08:00

Beauty depends on size as well as symmetry. No very small animal can be beautiful, for looking at it takes so small a portion of time that the impression of it will be confused. Nor can any very large one, for a whole view of it cannot be had at once, and so there will be no unity and completeness. Aristotle

I've been working extra efforts to reduce the size of my beer belly. What a struggle to perform sit-ups and crunches. Wait I'd just probably lend the machine a friend bought at a shopping network.

How much time and money do we spend to look good and conform to the standards of beauty? We're immersed in this dog-eat-dog society where we are constantly measured by impressions. And once ruined, there's no chance in taking it back.

Each of us has our own standards on what we may brand as beautiful. But what the media feeds us, is the likes of Anna Nicole-Smith, Barbie, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, etc. From magazines to billboards, everything. However, a local beauty pagent in the Philippines dispelled this definition of beauty by crowning Juliet Chavez, a dumagat as the over-all winner. Due to her success, a short story of her life would be featured on national TV to inspire people and to bridge the gap between the cultural minorities and urban folks. They even granted a scholarship for Juliet. Praises ***$Praises...

An on-going campaign by Dove also gives a twist to it by challenging the public with their opinion on the images they provide by creating polls, discussion boards, to name a few.

Why all the fuss in beauty? One of the reasons is that beauty sells. All these make-ups, slimming tea, asthetic medical treatments, all of them in the market has their fair share in attracting the public to conform with beauty standards they themselves create. Be as appealing as the endorsers. I have an American friend who spends much time on the beach, and much money at tanning salon. When I told him that, here in the Philippines, what sells are whitening soaps, lotions, pills, mostly anything that would turn a brown skin to a lighter tone. He just couldn't understand the reason of it. You guys want to be tan, while some of us wants to be white.

What I think of beauty is the soul of a person. This beauty emits from within. Undeniably something worth to paint not only in a canvas, but also in our hearts.

2007-02-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

TODAY I'M YOURS
Today I'm yours.
A slave to your command.
A joker at the Kings court.
Noah's white dove.
The priest at the confession box.
A lullaby at night.
A bonfire by the beach.
Cold spring water after a long day.
Favorite pillow.
Pepperspray.
A shadow.

What else could you ask for?

The travelling sardine can

2007-02-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

Eyes pulsating, heavy head, nearness to yawn or not, tears about to fall(okey that may be too much),are only a few things I experience after office. For me to get home; I ride the Metro Train, most of the time, to head to my destination faster. But everything has its own price to pay. Hence, I'd like to give an overview about my usual experiences each time I aboard the train.
Its starts with purchasing a ticket, if ever you don't have the stored value ticket with you. During rush hours there would be around 20 to 25 people all lined up just to purchase. After purchase, here is where the real battle begins. Before reaching the turnstile, around 120(if you're lucky) to 200 people from work line up to pass thru it. Tiny steps until you reach it. You've got to shove your arms so no one cuts in line. The idiom breathing at your neck becomes an actual act. You need to learn how to comtrol your breathing not to inhale other people's scent, unless you enjoy it as some studies say.When you finally reach the turnstile, you got to open your bag and have it inspected by the guards. The inspections were implemented, since the bombing a few years ago by terrorists.
Upon reaching the platform, you'd be sorrounded by dozens of others waiting for the arrival of the next train. The first couch of the train is reserved for women (we still are a conservative race), elderly, and sick people. So if you're a woman, and lining up at the other couches, it's like granting a rape for all pass. Not that we deliberately bump women, but when the pushing and shoving escalates we're mere pawns to the moving crowd. You could enter the train without your will when this happens. A friend told me once that she felt like a top spinning as the crowd pushed thru the train doors. Once inside the train, the only space that separates you with the other is an inch or so breathing space. So if you're not lucky enough, you'd end up sniffing the nape of the one in front of you. What's worse is when you accidently brush your body, or arms to a sweaty fellow alongside. Worst is, you're literally leaning to another sweaty guy with body odor. Reminds me of a scene in the movie, Along came Polly, wherein Ben Stillers face got rubbed to his opponent's sweaty and hairy chest at a basketball game. The world in slow motion as you shiver and try to forget such incident. Then he smiles at you. The prick just smiled. Meaning to say he deliberately wants you to catch his sweat. The chattering of the people continues...
As each station pass, the crowd thins up and you'd begin to feel the cold air from the aircon. The drama is there's always hope in every situation. When you alight the train, you'd feel such great accomplishment having to go through all those mishaps.
Wait. What's that smell? Oh its my almost dry sleeve rubbed at another sweaty guy. I can't smell this way when I ride a cab home? Hell, yeah!

Thanks for the support I'm the 390th blogger at blogtoplist.com. Never thought anybody reads my stuff.

The Count of Monte Cristo resides in Batangas

2007-02-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

How must one feel being arrested at the age of 67 during lunch, and being accused of murder? Yet be best to ask Antonio "Tony" Leviste. You could find it at the headline of the Philippine Daily Inquirer but in case you can't get hold of one here's what's ironic. Tony's gallant but sorry face is at the middle front page of the newspaper, for being accused of murder. While his former wife, Loren Legarda, is at the upper left running for the senate, and being tagged as "sure winners" come election.

View full story

What madness could have taken over him to murder a longtime friend and associate Rafael de las Alas, to stain his name, and to spend retirement in a bitter way?

Sensational as it is. Here is another benchmark in finding out if there is no one above the law in the Philippines. Has lady luck left Tony's side? Frailty has its costs and strikes back with a vengeance.

Don't read this

2007-02-02T17:14:00.000-08:00

I got really nothing interesting to blog about. So I'm having a hard time thinking about a topic (there goes my creativity). I've been into this free MMORPG game r-fate, and since then, it took all my attention and social life away. But I had a few good times this past week or so. We dined at Bellinis Italian Restaurant and enjoyed their exquisite food. Located at the Marikina Shoe Expo in Cubao. The ambience is Italian, with a few traces of Filipino (autographed plates, table cloths, to name a few). Italians really love to eat. Their serving are intentionally made for a group. So in order not to order food we could not finish, we decided just to order Bellinis Special Pizza and their House iced tea. The pizza was incomparable to other commercial pizzas, it has a personal homey taste. Makes you think they really spent sometime preparing it. If you like it quite spicy, they got an olive oil containing spices to pour at your pizza. Mouthwatering as I'm banging the keyboard and just reminiscing the experience. I've dined at a few Italian restos and it always makes me worry what happens to my stomach after all those sour servings. But with Bellinis, it's not too sour, I assure you it's something your twiddle tummy could manage and your taste buds would certainly enjoy. Their house iced tea is a drink I'll never forget in this lifetime. It's superb. Believe me. When you order drinks, this is a must! We ended the experience with a shot of complimentary red wine. BAM! This must be a dream. Come the cost of the experience? Let's say you probably need only a couple of hundred or so for each person. It's so cheap compared to other restos or pizza place at that. Quote me on this, go to Bellinis if ever you get to stoll at Cubao to watch live PBA or shop at Gateway. It's an experience worth a lifetime.

For a minute, I think my RPG character is in a battle. See you guys!

Digg this!

I needed a facelift

2007-01-22T22:02:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to change this blog's template since the start of the year. However, due to time constraints, I wasn't able to do so. I was so tired of the last template, not because of the CSS style that Gecko & Fly did, I think they did an awesome job, but because of my huge image I used as a banner. It just exceeded the level of tolerance of my vanity that it's already sickening. I replaced it with a template I got from Blogger Templates. I think the simplicity of the design caught my attention, somehow. I added a few more badges Digg , MyYahoo!, and Creative Commons, for what its worth oly time will tell.

I'd greatly appreciate your comments on this one, guys. After all, it's a journey we are all in. Welcome to Hazy Reality's new look.

iPhone craze

2007-01-22T00:39:00.000-08:00

I had the opportunity this morning to watch Steve Jobs launch Apple's newest baby, the iPhone, and Apple TV, at Macworld, via streaming video. I won't bother to write something about the apple TV, doesn't interest me quite a bit. It's still basically the same TV, same shows-same content. Why bother? I'm not a big tech fun, however when something this big comes along, it's pretty outrageous not to take a closer look at it. I was fascinated with the noise it garnered everywhere. And I mean every where: RSS Feeds, blogs, TV, etc. If you came from the ends of the earth and have no idea on what I'm blabbing about, it's as simple as these: iPod, cellphone, OSX widgets and software, 2MB camera, Safari web browser (I hope they placed an option for the Firefox), all rolled into one. What's fascinating is the way you scroll...Wait a minute. I'm a few inches away from being considered an iPhone salesman prick. Bummer. Just go to their site and watch the Keynote address and the iPhone introduction then get back to this blog. Whew.

So okey these guys created, yet again, a new and fascinating handheld device to cater to everyones fast phased lifestyle, with vanity in consideration, I think it looks pretty well. What a fortune it would cost coming from Apple? My jaw dropped. It just costs $499 for a 4G unit and $599 for an 8G unit. So cheap considering its capabilities. The iPod costs around $399 according to them. So when iPhone comes out, the hundred dollar difference would certainly affect the sales of the iPod. I think, probably, the iPod would be so much cheaper when iPhone is already in the market. Ola!

Here's something to think about. There's a reason why some of the other manufacturers didn't lean on the scroll touch screen and still settled for the old school keypad or stylus(wyuck!As Jobs placed it), it's because, the typical phone keypad is "user friendly" even to visually impaired people. Ok the touch screen emits the standard sound for the numbers(sorry I dunno what it's called), but is that the be all end all in the tech path?

Shooting stars

2007-01-18T23:36:00.000-08:00

It was 11:30pm and my eyes were so droopy from the sleep I need. I usually tumble and turn in bed to find that perfect position to make me relaxed and lead me to a good night sleep, but not not that evening. As soon as my back hit the bed, I felt relaxed and my mind began to wander. Half-asleep half-awake, with eyes closed, I saw a figure of an old man in kamisa chino and khakis, ten feet away from me. He was strolling in pitch darkness relaxed in his every stride. I began to wonder what makes this old man enjoy his strolling? Little by little he began to leave me behind. His relaxed mood was so infectious that I wanted to know this old man. So I decided to approach him to resolve my curiosity. As I was closing the gap between him, I realised that I know this old man! He's my Uncle Simeon. I inched my way closer to him untl we were face to face. I asked where was he going? He just gave me an honest endearing look. I decided to open my eyes, grabbed my phone and consult the time. Only a couple of minutes after I laid down. I logged the time on my phone and prayed for my Uncle until I slept.
The following morning at breakfast, I old the story to my parents. My father's eyes were sad as they listened in awe, for they've been visiting uncle Simeon at the hospital for quite sometime now and was getting worse day by day. I'm not that type of person who bottles up things that's playing on my head so I blurted it out,"Papa, I think uncle Simeon may already be dead. I may be wrong, which should be much better. But I hope you won't get mad at me by saying it this early." He nearly choke to his food and just nodded. My mama was close to tears.
At the office I received an emergency call from my mama informing me that uncle Simeon passed away last night at around 10:30 in the evening.
Like a shooting star– it comes without warning. Glace at its beauty for a few seconds and it's gone. My condolences...

Soulmates

2007-01-15T17:46:00.001-08:00

A woman walking across the sidewalk saw a guy heading her way. They suddenly stare at each other’s eyes; hearts skipped faster, and breathe fell shorter. The world stood still as they face each other, like a coyote staring at its fresh meat prey. Without holding back, they let go of their emotions and passionately kissed.

This is a common scenario on film or at any boob tube toothpaste ad. It’s unexpectedly meeting a person waltzing towards you and sweeping you off your feet. A connection neither of you could explain. Simply put: she’s the one you’ve been waiting for, all your life. Your soulmate.

I would no longer delve deeper to the spiritual side of it. So I posted at the bottom other sites that tackle more on that subject. What I would like to babble about is the bliss we get from it. For those of you who hate mushy stuff, prepare to squirm.

I get to have the privilege of being a part of a few outstanding relationships. On the course of these relationships, especially during the first few months, I feel like I’m walking through air and can achieve anything I wish for. When I indulge in an activity with my partner and stare into her eyes, it’s as sweet as honey poured to an apple. This elation makes me presume that, maybe she’s the one I’ve been waiting for all my life. The one to bring happiness to my existence. How could I be so lucky.

Until differences arise. Why am I stuck in this relationship? How could she do this to me? A once gift from above is now a fallen angel sent by Lucifer from the deepest cavities of hell to bring me misery and dismay.

Okay that may be too much, but it’s close to it, depending on your present emotional state.

Long ago, I had a chance to get together with a good friend Keisha(of course not her real name, what do you expect?) for how many years I could no longer recall. Keisha and I, were good friends during our college days, and enjoyed each others company and went out once in a blue moon. I “believe” we have a mutual understanding of our feelings towards each other. We were both into different but wonderful relationships, so we never had the chance to have a relationship. All those years apart when she pops to my head, I can’t help but wonder, what if we were made for each other? What if we had a relationship? I was certain she was my soulmate. All what ifs…

Time really flies fast. After a few years she married but unfortunately separated. I myself had a couple of long tedious relationships as well, which didn’t end quite well.

After all those years of no communication from each other I found the nerve to ask her out. Don’t get me wrong here. If you read pretty well we were really good friends, and I won’t ruin it to give way to raging hormones. We were both mending broken hearts when I tried to ask her out. Had a few drinks and reminisce about the past. Catching up.

Funny thing is, we grew our own separate ways. Ideals, manners, beliefs, were no longer common. Wisdom and age taught us a lot of things about people and life. We were two different people that once had a good thing coming, now trying to decipher each others thoughts. It was a complete turn a round from all thoughts I had about her. But the friendship never changed and we still had a good time.

The thought of having soulmates on my opinion, is just a state of elation wherein, we want to define the love that we feel and give it a greater and a more special meaning. The concept of having a soulmate is the cure for lonely hearts. An assurance that there is a person out there who will appreciate us the way we are. The better part is, we get to appreciate them back, for they fit all the qualifications we’re looking for. When we get the opportunity to cross paths with our greatest love, we regard it with finality that we’ve already found our soulmate. We’re willing to endure everything for this greatest love. Hurt seems to have a notch higher in tolerance. As long as our hearts found its right place with someone we consider our soulmate.

more readings about soulmates
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/
http://www.about.com
http://www.soultrek.com

Gr3atitudeS

2007-01-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

Thank you for sharing your time
For lending your ear during my distressful moments
For being patient with my mood swings
For tucking me warm and away from insecurities

Thank you for the countless bottles of beer
For the round the clock text messages of sweet nothings
For confiding your secrets while shedding a few tears
For taking the effort to show at my doorstep chirpy

Thank you giving me a second look
For making my nights preoccupied by your scent
For making me appreciate what I have
For showing me another chapter of my shrewdness and bull-headedness

Thank you for the wound you afflicted me
For opening my eyes from the hazy reality world of mine
For taking an extra effort for us to be back together
For swallowing your precious pride

I thank myself for not giving up
For trying to look at the brighter side
For not losing hope in life
For being alive.

Thank you. Thank me. Thank all.

Rumpelstiltskin prances round my mind

2007-01-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

Looking back
A few things were running through my head as the clock approached the eve of a new year. Questions such as; What is the worth of the past year? Were there any circumstances that came to be a turning point to my life? Am I a better person now compared to a year ago? It felt like an examination of conscience, but on a very much lighter manner or approach. Upon doing it, I began to appreciate what the Lord has offered me. It sums up as follows; I got a little more dedicated to my craft, put a halt to a six-year relationship, started writing again, met tremendous people, was nurtured by friends in my lowest ebb, I began to recognize my hearts frailty...

Heading forward
I spent the early days of the year afflicted with colds and drowsiness. My credit statement was nowhere to be found. My dog still trembles from the slightest sound of firecrackers. A shortage of underpants...

What an exciting year ahead. Join me in my journey.

Seasonal delusions

2006-12-21T17:12:00.000-08:00

It's three days before Christmas and I haven't heard yet if my boss has already approved of my vacation leave. See, I got plans. Yes, same things I do during ordinary days: eat, sleep, tv, be drunk and hopefully get laid. So you're thinking "What the hell is so special about taking a vacation leave from work this season?" Aside from doing it for a week straight I got buffers to back up those wicked habits. I imagine lying on the sofa, half-sleep half-awake, a slight hang over inkling while Conan O'Brien babble replays cranks to catch my attention. That's a good vacation. C'mon judge me. Boring? Perhaps. But I easily get satisfied with simple things in life, as long as I'm with people I truly dear. Could Christmas pass without a wishlist? Here are mine...
Mon's holiday (delusional)wishlist
10. A Nora Aunor shirt (signed is optional)
9. A chance to throw Howard Stern over the San Juanico Bridge
8. A beat role in one of Roi Vinzons movie
7. Have a Mark Wahlberg physique one morning when I wake up
6. A night with Miss USA Tara Conner together with the whole enchilada
5. Be the new replacement of Rob Thomas for Matchbox 20
4. A prayer for Vanilla Coke to be back
3. I'd like to live the life of Vince Chase
2. Lifetime free hot cappuccino+caramel at Starbucks
1. Have a life worth blogging about
Whatever our wishes are. Whoever we may be with this season. I hope you guys enjoy it and be a festive memorable time for all of us.
Have a merry Christmas.

Destinations in the metro

2006-12-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

Destination:Glorietta

We dropped by a couple of days ago to (possibly) purchase Havaianas flip-flops. But due to the small space of their boutique, one needs to fall in line in order to get in and choose what they want. The cheapest I heard is 700php, while other designs may reach 1200php and above. I was headed home and crossed paths with a kid selling newspapers at busses and saw his Bantex with holes at its soles.
Equation: 1 Havaianas=14 Bantex

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Destination:168 Shopping Mall

Purchased gift items and haggled with its Chinese owners. Decent yet cheap, and I consider it a steal. Everything in one roof. From fake Centrums, iPod with a weird apple logo, soccer jerseys, plastic faucets, large snout Lacoste, and an interpreter in case the Chinese owner never understand a thing you say. The huge crowd made our bodies feel like we just came from a wrestling match. Hey, is that a DVD over there......

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Destination: Metrowalk Ortigas

It was a concert event thrown by Winston Cigarrette on a Friday night. All these yuppies surround the area. Beer was overflowing at the scene. Beautiful women were part of the crowd. Carlsberg promodizers left me in awe just staring at them. The scene was right. Everybody seems to have a blast that night, except for one person. Guess who?

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Destination: Dad's Restaurant

We stuffed our bellies with their wide selection of dishes and delicacies. But what caught our taste buds, which eveyone agree on was the sashimi of Saisaki. Dip it in wasabe, and you might just lose yourself for a few moments. Their house band, who sings from table to table, belted out a samba in radio-like quality. Very impressive.
"Could you change my snowman stuffed toy to a dog?"
"It's not a dog it's a reindeer. See, it got antlers."
"Those aren't antlers they are ears bitten by another pitbull."

Usual Tales

2006-12-13T01:07:00.000-08:00

On his way home, Optimistic can't stand not to smile and be proud of himself. After all, her daughter, Nightlife, was about to finish college. It was all planned out from the very beginning...

Optimistic and Hesitation, her wife, strived during their early years just to have a stable day-to-day life. When Hesitation gave birth to Nightlife, Optimistic proclaimed that her daughter would be the next barrio doctor. Everyone who knew Optimistic was so excited, for the words coming from his mouth, was hard as oak. Hesitation always warned Optimistic to watch his words carefully and not to loudmouth his plans. But Optimistic was so proud of Nightlife that for every achievement Nightlife acquires, he brags about it during his drinking binges with the townsfolk.

Nightlife was unlike the other kids. She was below average. Although her comprehension was low, she was beautiful and soft spoken. Her hair was gold as cornhair while her eyes were blue as the ocean during the summer afternoons. The respect that people has for Optimistic, was carried on to her. Thus being favorable to her peers and teachers. When she came to age, flocks of men awaited at her doorstep, hoping to swoon her by giving expensive gifts, letters, jewelry, and fine arts. But she already had an eye on someone–Goodtime.

Not long enough Nightlife and Goodtime spent most of their time together. Goodtime relying on allowances provided by Luckily, her mother, used his money on wine, and a few misadventures with women. This he was proud to tell his friends. Nightlife knew those stories were true, but Goodtime promised her that he would change his ways. She believed.

A few months later, after countless unprotected sex and sleepless nights under the same roof, Nightlife got pregnant unexpectedly. She knew Optimistic would raise her hell so she kept quiet about her pregnancy. What's more, she dropped from school always to be with Goodtime.
When Goodtime learned about her situation, he promised her marriage to support the child. But after a couple of days, Goodtime was nowhere to be found. Leaving Nightlife miserable.
How would she explain it to Optimistic? Surely, their well-respected family would be the laughing stock of all town. And today is the day where she must inform her parents about her dilemma...

Hearing the news straight from the horse's mouth crushed Optimistic's heart. All his expectations went down the drain. While Hesitation broke in short sobs that seemingly shorthens her breathing...

Frustration crept their home. They vow their heads in attempt not to attract attention to others when they leave the house. Frustration is the new friend their family never wanted.

Whose fault was it anyways? Optimistic for making plans for Nightlife's good future? Hesitation who was always quiet about the situation? Or was it Nightlife's for falling in-love with the wrong man?

Untitled 3

2006-12-10T18:18:00.000-08:00

Bittersweet arpeggios from Niccollo Paganini's violin:
We danced naked on the damp bare grass.
Feet sensitive from its coldness.
Waltzing amidst the fast moving earth.
Haunting Prelude by Bach in D minor:
Sitting at the confession box I rocked my body
back and forth. Hands tied back.
Eyes covered sensitivity doubles.
Prancing to Vivaldi's Summer:
Descending from the heaven's
A chariot of fire incised the clouds.
Driven by a golden haired woman
Left aghast from her laughter.
Capricho Arabe on Tarrega's guitar string:
Warm breeze after a Sunday mass.
The baby rests its head at the woman's bosom.
Woman serenely closes her eyes smelling a rose.

My Reign

2006-12-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

As my queen renounced her throne.
Diamond tears filled sleep.
She said she had enough,
took enough hurt from me.
She held fire but she felt pain.
This kingdom would never be the same.
Save me from my falling reign.
For our royal vows would still be same.
Shower me with your scent.
Be still my breath until my death.
Burn this hate filled castle!
Bury the scepter in this heart!
Stone me to death, black and blue!
Smitten. Naked. Blessed.

Christmas cheer

2006-11-27T16:38:00.000-08:00

The breeze this morning made me realise that Chrismas is getting closer. The anticipation is slowly builds up my excitement each day. At the office, Alvin and the Chipmuks' Christmas carols are blaring at our speakers.

When I was much younger, our family used to go shopping at Cubao and be spectators of C.O.D.'s Christmas presentation held at their facade during the evenings. Parents and kids of all ages watch in awe. We attend mass an hour before Christmas, wearing new clothes. And when Media Noche(12a.m. of Christmas day) culminates, my cousins and I, hold on to the biggest box of gift given to us, and open it at the same time.

Now, our family has a new reason anticipating Christmas, for my sister and her husband, now from Caticlan, takes a vacation at Manila. We scour through the tiangges of Greenhills and Tutuban, from the morning 'til our feet are sore.

Being with my family is the best gift I always get from God during Christmas. And nothing makes me feel complete than having my family seating at our small round table eating to our heart's content.

P.S.: Dear Santa, if ever you're reading this blog, I've been a good boy this whole year. Hope you grant my wish...

Blogs I enjoy

2006-11-20T17:38:00.000-08:00

Blogging is a keyhole for undiscovered talents. I really enjoy doing wildcard searches at blogger and not surprising to find so many talented people around. These guys could express themselves so well that I find myself smiling, nodding, or reflecting while reading their posts. I just hope such talents would continue to write and inspire people by sharing their thoughts.

Check these great talents: Addicted to Ink [by Amber], Soothsayings [by Cielo], My so-called love life [by Mood Indigo]. I also see to it to read Jessica Rules the Universe, by Jessica Zafra, Philippine literary pop-icon. Few other blogs I also find interesting are Lorelle, Kiddley, and Designers who blog.

Let's all share the experience.

Forty Winks

2006-11-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

I felt like an elephant with superglue stuck on my feet. That is how I am after a couple of weeks without weight training. Although I run during weekends, nothing beats pumping iron and the sweet pain of DOMS(Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness). So last night, I was headstrong to give my muscles the jolt it needs, for me to be more agile.
The pressure was intense not to lie on the couch and watch TV. So I took coffee, and lit a smoke(people warned me about this already, so there's no need to comment about it) After an hour, I was doing bench presses, dumbbell curls, and laughing at Seinfeld's antics. I was done at around 11:30pm. I was fulfilled that I achieved my objective to train.
In my room, I relieved my exhaustion by reading a health mag I just purchased(so pathetic), but kept on taking a piss due to the large quantity of liquid intake I had. When my eyelids felt giving in, I suddenly feel to take another visit to the john. Haah. When would this stop? After around five to six times of the latter scenario, it was cloud nine. My muscles were no longer exhausted, my mind was calm, and the start of the Chrismas chill made me grin. The feeling was sooo comforting.
Purgatory. I was 60 percent away from getting a complete sleep, and 40 percent awake. Suddenly, I heard a catfight outside my window. My heartbeat grew faster that usual. I was so disappointed being awake. Time? 1am. I lost my urge to sleep. As if the nap I took was already enough. I know I need to sleep. I don't want to feel grumpy the following day. But sleep just won't visit me. So I lit another smoke. 1:30am. Sleep, sleep, sleep...(I felt like Ralph, the main character from the novel Insomia by Stephen King) Where the hell did that come from? It's past two and you remember a novel? What a dillema. I did enjoy that novel, though found the ending quite disappointing. But I still need to sle...zzzzzzz.

Touch my hair and you die

2006-11-12T19:06:00.000-08:00

A bald man took a seat in a beauty parlour. "How can I help you ?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant." the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000."
"No problem, " said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.

All deaf

Familiar with Mr. Clean? Yes. It's the detergent with that sinister smiling bald guy with humongous arms, and blonde eyebrows. How about the eccentric friend of Jerry Seinfeld George Costanza? LL Cool Jay? Vin Diesel? Michael Jordan? Find anything common? Yes. Baldness. Self-inflicted or biological setbacks.

Having a bald head or having ones hair cut to look quite bald(zip-zip-zip), is common to men here in Manila. I give you a bet, for every establishment, you'd probably find one or more of the likes. Some of them in a suit, while others in a monkey suit complete with their bling blings. Making eyes burn, just like staring directly to a solar eclipse.

Being bald has many benefits i.e.: less spending on shampoos, hair waxes etc., less time spent with the barber, resignation that your face won't differ at any cost, there are no bad-hair days, the list is endless. Humidity is also a factor. A bald guy would definitely be more fresh compared to Howard Stern in this heat.

I got nothing against balding or bald guys. My dad is close to baldness, while I'm starting to exhibit thinning hair. What I'm trying to imply is, we could still show a little creativity in carrying our hair. Blessed are those with thick black hair, for a lot of things could be done in terms of styling. And I think US President Bush agrees.

Maybe I'm just suffering from baldophobia.

“A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.”
~Mae West

Borat, Billboards, Bryanboy, Blondes and everything in-Between

2006-11-10T17:22:00.001-08:00

Kazakhstan's sixth most famous man Borat, came to be no.1 in the US Box-office with the movie Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan on the US-charts.The movie Pinoy Blonde would have achieved the same prestige as Borat if only Mang Pandoy took the lead.
***********************
Bryanboy, a Filipino, sparked some controversies on a blog entry he made. It depicts a Brit guy holding a bag and saying Jesus is our fuckin homeboy! Such a confused fellow we should pray for. He even has issues about his name...isn't "Bryangay" more appropriate?
***********************
The MMDA(Metro Manila Development Authority) instructed billboard owners to take down their infrastuctures due to the hazards it imposes to motorists. After a few days past the super typhoon Milenio, you could see people taking these billboards down. If you ever pass by EDSA-Guadalupe you'd see the tarps already taken out, while some are neatly rolled down. But the steel frames are still present. Reminder: The tarps are not the one causing extreme damage but the steel frames, don't you think? It's been months....
***********************

A you-tube post Jollibee Scandal made JFC(Jollibee Foods Corporation) execs furious when they saw Twirlie and Jollibee mascots seeming to depict sex acts. Finding the employees responsible for the action, they were terminated immediately.
Give the bee a break. He's now on his puberty age and just wants to sow some pollen.
On the brighter side, at least we could now confirm Jollibee's gender.
***********************
NBI(The National Bureau of investigation) denies the accusation of giving Charlie Atong Ang a VIP treatment during his arrival. And they got 50 security escorts to prove it.

A brew of my life

2006-11-09T00:51:00.000-08:00

Have you been bitten by the rush?

There's a Filipino myth that when a a young person already drinks coffee he/she won't grow up to his/her potential. Which is why at an early age I was not allowed to drink it, leaving me with no other choice but choco.

During the late 70's and eary 80's you could hear people proudly say "...yes, he even took me out for a coffee at the Manila Hotel," Probably due to the extravagant price of coffee at that place, coffee became a recreational activity and at the same time a status symbol. But nowadays, coffeeshops grew like mushrooms. So when you're going to meet someone, this came to be the best place. Or when you don't wan't to be disturbed, want to enjoy bossa, read a book, and all the hundred personal reasons we find ourselves heading for that cold cup of iced latte, or the brewing steam of hot moccha. I realized that some of the important things in my life involves a huge amout of coffee. It served as the paint in my canvas of life.

1979, Province of Pangasinan, 4 years old
I greeted my Aunt Linat the usual pleasantries and found her busy managing the coffee pot at the kitchen. The coffee was made of roasted rice grains wherein its aroma filled the morning air. She took out an old jade-colored cup and filled it halfway, reminding me that I should not take too much, for I'm too young for it. I felt a jolt and found a new friend.

1982, at home
My first coffee cup was from the container of a Blend 45. My parents made me use this glass to discourage me from drinking coffee at a very young age,

1998, college student
Le Couer de France, SM West
Brought Liza,(not her real name)my girlfriend, to run away from our peers and have a private conversation on our own.

1999, college student
Cafeteria beside the University, theater class
Our theater class converges at this cafeteria where we enjoy cheap instant Nescafés prepared by an old couple. It's there where we hangout with our peers with coffee and smokes in hand. Aspiring to be another Brocka or Bernal.

2001, at home
Bought a coffee maker and tried to imitate the taste of The Coffee Experience with Liza. After a few months we broke up.

2002
Have a new relationship with Andrea. She just can't stand brewed coffee. All she needs are three cups of Nescafé Instant coffee, and her morning is complete. She only drinks coffee in the mornings. Seldom during the days entirety. And these are the mornings that we get to communicate without speaking.

2002, July
Became hyperacidic due to excess coffee, spices, and cigarettes. Could you imagine how my body reacts to those things that I ingest? So no more coffee for quite awhile. During those initial attacks Andrea thought that I had another woman at my place because of the squeak of my bed. Honestly, there was none. We parted our relationship that night, but got together after a few months. Who crawled back to whom? Hah!Me.

2003, October, SM Manila/Padis Point
Received the paycheck I got from my freelance work with an NGO. Guess what we did? we got our cappuccinos and devils cake at Figaro. Afterwhich, went to Padis Point where we drank beers for almost seven hours. By the way, that drinking binge started at around five. So you get to picture how much beers we consumed.

2005, Seattles Best E. Rodriguez, 9:25pm or later
I fetched her from work at Cainta. We were both tired from the day with our jobs and were slowly feeling to be distant towards each other because of our jobs. So we decided to grab some coffee and talk for awhile. We ended quiet the whole evening staring at the passersby and yawning the night away. It just didn't worked that night. And eventually broke up the following year.

2006, Starbucks Glorietta
It was the birthday of my godson. We celebrated it at the same area. I was fresh from a breakup with Andrea, but I could not find any reason not to enjoy myself. I invited a friend whom I would like to know better that time for some coffee, and she acknowledged. Had the usual chat and everything but nothing intimate. Just plain catching up. She ended not being able to sleep that night. Not because of thinking about me. But due to the caffeine. How I wish I was caffeine to keep women up all night.

2006, Starbucks Glorietta (again)
After watching a movie, me and my blind date, Maria, decided to have coffee to end the night. She was persistent on taking the tab for our coffee, so I let her. She ordered tall frozen cappuccinos. The catch? I dont like my coffee cold. I want it painfully hot. She really enjoys her coffee but is suffering from hyperacidity too. So she battled tummy aches the whole night in her bed. While I watched TV lying at our couch at home. We still go out, but I no longer invite her for coffee.

2006, November, Starbucks Tomas Morato
Me and my cousins had a blast after watching The DNA Rock band at 70's Bistro. After the band's set, at around 1:30 am the following day, we agreed to continue our binge at Xymaca. Unfortunately, the band Brownman Revival had already ended their set. Nothing to do but have coffee. I was a trojan horse that night. The only one who ordered something that's hot. It's been awhile since we all got together. And that night was special because we were with ate Auvi, visited from the US, and my sis Ana Vic who is now based at Boracay.

2006, present day
Instant coffee while at work combined with pan de sal. I'm too lazy to brew the expired coffee from my former officemate Dona. I'm still waiting for the 3in1 coffee from Rachael...

Photo courtesy of Grayscale. Thanks, man.

Untitled 2

2006-11-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

I told you that I could make it
make it all alone.
Before you said that I was
building dreams made of sand

Now I try to never look back again
From what we might have been

I feel alone but free
No need to change the real me
at times I may be unhappy
But it's something I expect me to be.

Awake at night and it's you
who fills my weary heart.
Awake I just realised
that we're already apart.

Angry words could never be taken back
And mere apologies could never mend it

Packed up your bags
Left the ring by the bedside
And I woke up alone
I know that you've gone...

Mood swings

2006-11-06T01:16:00.000-08:00

These are the days when I wake up and got nothing to say. It's not my usual self but I get this feeling that it would be appropriate for me to just zip my mouth intead of forcing myself to blurt out mindless syllables. If you only knew the effort I put myself just to smile, you'd better yet leave me alone.

Few call it mood swings. Hell, I never experienced such(probably don't admit to it, as well). I'm not a transparent person, so when I get take the ride during these moments, only a few would just notice. However, I got an excuse, they just regard it as an artist's moodiness, which I dislike.

But being in that state feels a little rewarding. Deep thoughts play in my mind, thus giving me more time to ponder about life. I get to be a better listener and observant with the environment.

I do agree–the less you talk the less mistakes. But the more mistakes we create, the more we learn in life. Quite ironic, isn't it?

Angels in the street by 8 pm

2006-11-02T19:24:00.000-08:00

I spend four hours or more of my time during workdays riding on a public transport. These hours I try to spend as fruitful as possible whether reading books, contemplating my work, or simply surveying things that surrounds me.

I was heading home one night and noticed a couple of kids selling sampaguitas at EDSA-Kamuning. If you're not familiar with EDSA–this hi-way is notorious for the prescence of erratic bus drivers, and over speeding cars. They were just probably 3 to 4 years of age wandering the busy hi-way, knocking on windows of private cars to sell their sampaguitas. I began to wonder: where are the parents of this kids? They're selling sampaguitas but do they already know how to count their change? Why such fate at a very young age?

Di ako marunong bumasa o sumulat,
at di ko rin inasam na matutunan pa.

Sa humintong dyip dagli-dagliang sumampa
baka sakaling may maawa.
Gumapang sa pagitan ng mga sapatos at sa mga paang pagod sa maghapon
Agad na pinunasan ang bawat isa sa mga iyon.
Hanggang sa umabot papalapit sa tsuper
aking tiningala ang lulan nya.

Sa mata nila iba't-ibang emosyon ang aking nakita.
May inis, awa, paghamak.
Pero ang aking ipinagtataka
ay yung mgataong di ako nakikita...
Alam ko ako'y nasa tabi na nya
Pero ni lumingon ay di nya magawa.

Ayan ang aking hanapbuhay sa edad na apat.
Marahil makakabuting ako'y magpahinga muna.
Masakit na ang aking lalamunan at likuran.
Bukas naman ulit...

Eli Roth's Hostel

2006-10-29T17:55:00.000-08:00

What a way to start the month and end a weekend with a movie. So I decided to grab a copy of Eli Roth's Hostel. The OBB was in the typical Tarantino style wherein it makes one anticipate the whole movie. It starts with these three backpackers traveling to different countries to ease have a taste of women and good life. In one of their travels they get to meet an average guy who showed them a photo of of him engaging in an orgy. He informs that these women are from Slovakia and are always in search for men and would easily fall for them especially for Americans. So off they went to Slovakia. Where they're dicks point to... that's where they're heading.

At the hostel in Slovakia, they met gorgeous women whom after having a drinking binge engaged with them in casual sex. The next day, one of them was missing. Then the following day another. Until the lead ends up in a hole where dismemberment is performed in each room. Unfortunately he became a captive in one of these rooms. And escapes.

What a bore.

Pardon me Eli Roth, but it really sucked. Okay, the focus on the characters was good because the viewers would get to think that one guy is the lead but end up decapitated in the middle of the film. Switching to the other guy who ends up escaping death and getting revenge by handing a bagful of candy to dangerous street kids. It was so pathetic.

I felt sorry for this movie, and so should you.

Runtime: 94 min / Philippines:93 min (cut) of my time was robbed from me.

Rainbow on fire

2006-10-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

This is something that I wrote during my college days. The problem is I could no longer remember the last two stanzas. It was originally a song I wrote for my band during those days. Unfortunately, a professor confiscated my notes and I never get to retrieve it. The reason for its confiscation? Nevermind.

Rainbow on fire
With all those people 'round your side
And all that anger which you can't hide
You think it's kinds tough when
You can't pull yourself through.
And now you lost hope on your life too.

Can't you see that the rainbow is on fire?
That the rainbow is on fire.
When you give up to yourself it seems
that the rainbow's on fire.

When all you think about is going away
You can't solve your problems when you go astray
When you got no one to cling on
When you feel the pain
And your life is imprisoned by your
Hurt and hate.

The rainbow on fire no man desire
The rainbow on fire feels like mire
And when the rainbow is on fire
There's you can’t help but cry.

Untitled

2006-10-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

My name is not important.
Nor my physique would have any bearing.
I was born crying because of the soft slap
by the doctor
It didn't hurt.
I was just scared and felt rage.
Scared of detachment from safety.
Or rage from being taken away
from my comfort zone.
Come to think of it.
Those are my first emotions.

How dear it is if I laughed instead of crying
Upon greeting the world.

I was washed by rough textured but
gentle hands by a lady I don't know.
Wrapped in white linens except for my face.
I felt confusion on why is she doing this for me.
And satisfied after.

At that short span of time,
I declare it was a roller coaster ride of emotions
I'd probably acquire in a lifetime.

Fear. Rage. Comfort. Satisfaction. Distrust.
Trust. Acceptance. Surrender. Excitement.

This might be the reason why we feel
Comfort after shedding a few tears.
This might be the reason why we feel
Lonely after leaving or being left.
This might be the reason why we feel at home
In the arms of a loved one.

The Search

2006-10-17T02:18:00.000-07:00

7:45 am
My Apartment

I can't believe this is happening to me. Fifteen minutes more and I'm about to say goodbye to my 8th job. Human resource just served me my final straw and they're more than willing to cut me loose if ever I get late again. I know. Their eyes seem to peer on ever move and decision that I make. Probably they're….

I just placed it here somewhere…..
On the coffee table? None.
Underneath the stacks of magazine? Hmmm… None.
Where the hell it may be?

…just waiting for me to make a wrong move and BAM…

did I left it at Kate's' place? No I don't think so, Still used it last night.
A-ha! No. It's impossible that I'd get it flushed down the drain? Could it?
My bag…Nope. Nothing in here…

…they'd fire me with all their might…

I think it's in these bookshelves….shit!
Where could have I placed it?
Calm down. Calm down. You won't be able to think clearly when you're too agitated.
Last thing I recall, I locked my doors and placed it some….where.
The hell! Got to get to the office without it or I'd be late…

8:20
Office. 20 minutes late

Yup there's no need to hurry…
I'd take my time to smell the roses and again bid farewell to this job.
How could I get so…..

8:35
Office, Human Resource department

"We already gave you our final warning and you didn't seem to take it seriously.” she tried to be as professional as possible with her tone. "So I regret to say that your services are no longer required in this company."

" I know this I coming." I replied.
"So why this consistency…on being late? I may also be a friend, you know."
" Cut me some slack. I've been searching for my eyeglasses the whole morning and before I know it I lost track of time. You know I'm blind as a bat when I got no glasses on."
"I see."
"So I decided to come to work even without them…and here I am being fired."
"Without them?"
"Yes without them."
"Well, maybe there's one place you didn't search?"
"And where?" she's beginning to annoy me…
"Looked in the mirror?"
What would it be doing in the mirror?" Hah!
"Well have you tried to look in between your eyes and above your nose bridge?"

I placed my fingers at my eyes and it was there….
All the while it was there…

Ang Blueprint ng Buhay

2006-10-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Napadaan ako ng Recto isang tanghali.
Hinarang ng isang matandang nakaputi
Umiwas ako dahil nagmamadali
Ngunit siya’y mapilit at humiling ng kahit sandali.

Tangan niya sa kanyang kulubot na kamay
Lumang papel iginigiit na aking buhay
Mahiwaga daw ang papel na taglay
Pagkat makikita ang aking buhay na makulay.

Ang kanyang sinasabi ay di kapanipaniwala
Tulad ng mga buwitreng nakikinabang sa mga taong wala
Ako’y natawa at tatalikod na
Agad niya itong binuksan at ipinakita.

At sa aking mga mata tumambad.
Ang aking nakaraan at duon nakasaad.
Mga kaganapan sa aking buhay mula pagkasilang
Hanggang sa nagyayari sa ngayon bumibilang.

Inagaw ko mula sa kanyang pagkakatangan
At dalidali kong tinitigan ang magiging kaganapan
Kung ano ang sasapitin sa kinabukasan
Ako ba'y makakaahon sa sinasapit na kahirapan?

Mga asul na mga titik naglalaman ng kahiwagaan
Nakasaad mga mahal ko sa buhay malapit na mamaalam
Hanggang sa tumanda puro na lang kahirapan
At ni walang liwanag sa hinaharap na mararanasan.

Sa aking galit di napigilang ipunit
Ang haharapin ko pala sa buhay ay walang kasing sungit.
Hindi ko alam kung paano itatago ang ngitngit
Sa kaawa-awang matanda naibunton ang galit.

Ngunit nang aking nasumpungan
Wala pala ako sa Recto at ngayo'y napapaligiran
Ng nagdaraanang mabibilis na sasakyan
At sa aking kamay ay muli kong tangan

Ang lumang papel na aking pinunit
Ngunit ang aking damit ay gulagulanit
Ikaw ba nais ng masilip?
Ang isinasaad ng iyong blueprint?

My soul is a farm

2006-10-06T18:21:00.000-07:00

My soul is a farm.
I sow seeds and eventually harvest.
I protect it from pests and robbers.
Diligently never allow it to wither.
Feeding from the water of deeds.
How proud I am enjoying its abundance.
Storms dim its purity.
A drought withers the crop.
I then neglect its existence.
Leaving to wander to dry and putrid soil.
But after the drought you should see.
How pure as snow again it seems.
And again enjoy the comfort of its mist.

Faces

2006-10-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

Face one
Smooth as silk from bud it grew
Mountainous peaks chosen men go
Resting their mouths at its rosy peaks
Tasted nothing yet emotions sweep.

Tender earth pressed by the palms
Awoke the buds seeks to be calmed
Round and twins to and fro
Raising heat but still we go

Face two
At its peak the children fed
A taste of life where first beheld
Relief of thirst weaving life
The is no time chosen to seek its plight

Face three
Alas! The buds are dry
Wilting brown the peaks now wry
Lest it has no use
But still a place, men would always choose.

Closer

2006-10-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

The last time I checked you left your options open.
The last time I checked it was only I who holds the key.
The last time I checked you couldn’t smile without me.
And the last time I checked you were looking for me.

Alone you had your spirit broken.
Alone your hands tremble for me.
Alone your thoughts are of me.
The last time I checked you’re alone because of me.

In front of me I noticed you giggle.
In front of me you drew your eye away with pride.
In front of me you drew closer.
In front of me you drew closer to him.

Inside of me are regrets.
Inside of me is you.
Inside of me are nightmares.
Inside of me are nightmares of you.

Inventory of my personality

2006-10-04T14:19:00.000-07:00

Dark room.
Stale coffee.
Ashes and butts of cigarettes on a nearly filled ashtray.
Cracked peach blank walls.
Neatly fixed bed with books by its side.
Scratch papers of poetry.
Scratch papers of women’s number.
Dysfunctional extension phone.
Fitness magazines underneath a side table.
Smut magazines in a hidden old bag.
Metal plates for my dumbbells.
Sands from Boracay in a small pot.
Broken alarm clock.
Unfinished matte floor in gray.
Four pin lights where only one works.
Edgar Allan Poe, Anne Rice at shelves
Unnamed CDs stored in a box
An old black radio by the bedside.
An electric fan given by an ex
(She reminded me once she wants to have it back)
Different bags hanged on an unused drawing table
An old used KFC bucket used as a bin.

It’s my lair when I’m proud.
It’s a dungeon when I’m in a cloud.
A place you don’t want to be found.
If I die I won’t make one sound.

Seeking Katha

2006-10-04T02:39:00.000-07:00

The calm black sea seems to lead to eternity. Flicker of light seems to be scattered like gems as it crashes its waves upon the shore. The moon heed to the request of the sea not to show itself up. Warm air enveloped my body like an embrace of life, but pawns my soul to something darker on the other side.

I came across a lady in white with hair cascading to her waist. A vision that leaped from a Mona Lisa copycat struck my mind. She held out her paper white hand for me to take.

“Alone?” she asks.
“ I invoked the soul of Katha.”
“ Katha? Goddess of mourning?”

Need her say that? No war present by these gods on my knowledge.

“ There are no gods.”
“ Mock my wisdom. Yes, you may. But my faith would never wane.”
“ The gods gave way to extinction.”
“ Making you a god.”
“ Yes.”
“ But you’re no god. Never knew you.”
“ I’m not a god. Yes. Katha is.”
“ So why the confidence to stand before me?”
“ You also claim to be a god.” She replied.
“ Placid human.”
“ Ravenous mind.”
“ A kiss of scorn you may offer some. But not for me.”
“ I forgot your wisdom is excellent.”
“ And your sarcasm is perfect.”
“ Invoking Katha?”
“ Yes.”
“ There is no god Katha.”
“ The goddess of mourning.”

She reached for a dried branch and placed it near her heart. Hurt signifies this action for gods. For a goddess like her could gain everything except shed a tear. And a being like me could ask for anything except wisdom.

“You could gain it.”
“ No I can’t.”
“ Yes, you can’t.”

A downfall on achieving my claimed creativity

2006-10-03T21:28:00.000-07:00

I got a casual call last night from a friend who worried about me after reading my blogs. She said it felt so lonely, or maybe depressing. She was pretty much aware that I might be on that state, after all she may be the reason I am in that state. She was my former girlfriend and we just broke up three months ago.

The first few days of our break up, honestly, did not made much impact on me. Probably I was still harboring the madness I felt against her. Slowly my emotions seemed to leap out of my heart through time and that madness turned to resentment. I seemed to be a turtle always hiding inside my shell taking the pleasure from the darkness my soul felt.

I began to write. Placed some illustrations on the sides of my lyrics. It felt good. It was heroin during my lowest ebb. Funny to say that when I began to delve into these emotions it felt like home. The negativity I felt ate my very soul and not once did I resisted it.

14 years ago:
“Pre, sobrang lalim mo naman. Wag ka bibitaw sa katotohanan baka mabaliw ka!”(Friend, you’re too deep. Try to hang on to reality or you might lose your mind)
Redel S.
During our drinking sessions

Katha in my soul. A scar made to be an emblem in the center of my heart. (Journey Chronicles)

Journey 1

2006-10-03T00:26:00.000-07:00

I walked through darkness,
But found no consolation
Excitedly hopped through the sun,
But never felt its heat
Flew through the clouds
But never felt the mist
Dived the deep Atlantis,
And found colors never complete
Stared death at its face
The numbness took its toll
Enjoyed rivers of wine
Never fed my soul
Spent days with different
Women’s unwavering beauty
Bloody red rose moist lips
Tried to battle this apathy.
Earnestly thrust my sword to oblivion
But there’s still no consolation
Bathe myself in pools of scorn
Filth wrapped every part of me
Life. Breathe. Reality.

If I was Orpheus

2006-10-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

If I was Orpheus, I’ll take you with me.
In a realm you’d be enchanted and feel free.
I’d wrap you with my serene voice and comfort you til eternity.
I’d close your eyes and offer a different reality.
Your ears would be a slave to every note of my lyre.
Your thirst would be quenched with just a smile.
Together we’ll travel it may take awhile,
To seek new sounds and some different style.

If I was Orpheus, I’ll take you with me.
And chain your heart for only me you’d see.
A resonant minuet named after you,
A natural courtship only my music could do.
Feel the harmony coming from my soul?
Will give you heat and never feel cold.
These nylon strings my fingers crept
And touched those who hears and so they wept.

But I’m no Orpheus as you can see.
I’m just your mere Eurydice.
Orpheus it’s who you are for me
And I won’t mind being your Eurydice.

Romance

2006-10-02T17:38:00.000-07:00

I woke up before her and saw the first ray of light hit her curled lashes. It glistened like corn hair against her deep eyes. Her long auburn hair rests upon her freckled bare shoulders. I ran my fingers above her pale red lips toward her ear. Then my hands made its way to her contoured cold back. It’s as smooth as an old brandy rushing thru my throat during lonely evenings. Her perfume and stale wine still filled the room even from last night. I took her small hand and held it with both of mine and brushed it on my cheek, kissed it tenderly and placed it over my heart hoping it would awaken her. There was no response. I tried to contain my tears but few I can’t hold longer. I rested my head over her chest, and stared blankly. Every moment elapsing the more I held her hands tighter. I rose to my feet and kissed her lips to bid farewell. Such finality I thought could only be seen in movies, and it feels I’m trapped in one. Covered her with a white linen blanket, exhaled heavily and placed her at the back of my heart.

The roses are no longer red.
There is no warmth here in my bed.
Things come running over my head.
It’s no use now for you’re already dead.

Good Riddance

2006-10-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

I licked my wounds and dried through time.
Scars left proof that you’re once mine.
Bitter taste to glance behind.
I drowned all sorrows with my cheap wine.

In my heart I always hope.
That you would change in time would cope.
How I wished that I would wake.
From these nightmare for my hearts sake.

At times I can’t help to look back then.
From happy mem’ries of our time spent.
Moments later I’m back again.
The reality is no more my friend.

And while you read a line or two.
Deep in your heart you know it’s you.
I’m screaming now these words aloud.
You smirk at this, I know you’re proud.

In spite of this I would not lie.
Feelings for you are hard to die.
And though this love was once for you.
I’ll for someone who would be true.